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人生是一大堆选择题,到处都是正确答案。

Life is a lot of multiple choice questions, full of correct answers.
人生是一大堆选择题,到处都是正确答案。
1220字
2019-06-12 18:22
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人生是一大堆选择题,到处都是正确答案。

A young reader asked me, "Autumn, the company has an opportunity to relocate to Singapore and I'd love to go for it and see the outside world, but my boss asked me to stay in Shanghai and offered me a promotion.

有个年轻读者问我,「Autumn,公司有外派新加坡的机会,我很想争取,看看外面的世界;但是我老板让我留在上海,提出让我升职。我真的非常感激这个老板一直以来的帮助,不想辜负他的认可。我怎么办呢?」 

Life is difficult to choose, all because of such "pros and cons, dilemma".

人生的选择困难,全都是因为这样的「有利有弊、左右为难」。 

A similar question: is it better to be steady in a big company or to start a business? Should we return to the second-tier cities near home or stick to the hard-core mode of Beijing, Shanghai, guangzhou and shenzhen? Is it better to retire from a relatively idle job after having a baby, or to keep going full speed ahead in the workplace? To change jobs, to break up, to forgive, to fight... Every day, we face endless choices, questioning who we are and what we want.

类似的问题还有:是在大公司求稳健,还是去创业拼一把?是回到离家乡近的二线城市,还是坚守北上广深的硬核模式?生完孩子是退守相对清闲的职位,还是继续在职场上全速前进?要不要跳槽、要不要分手、要不要原谅、要不要争取……每一天,我们都面临无穷无尽的选择,拷问着我们是谁、我们要什么。 

 

In the long-term struggle and recovery, I found the way out of the "be swayed by considerations of gain and loss" anxiety state. Wrong choice, correct principle.

在长期的纠结与复盘中,我找到了逃离「患得患失」焦虑状态的出路:先有原则,才有选择;选择错了,修正原则。 

1. Life is full of multiple choice questions, filled with "right answers."

1. 人生就是一道道选择题,到处都是「正确答案」。 
 

At the beginning, the girl chose to go to Singapore to "pursue her dream" and stay in Shanghai to "repay her kindness". The former is something you want to do, which brings an international perspective, new experience and attractive development opportunities. The latter is continuing to work for a good boss who recognizes them, moving up quickly, and valuing relationships is a workplace virtue.

开篇那个女孩,选择去新加坡「追求梦想」与留在上海「知恩图报」,并不分对错。前者是自己想做的事,带来国际视野、崭新经验,很有吸引力的发展机会。后者是在认可自己的好老板手下继续工作、快速晋升,而且珍惜人际关系也是职场上看重的美德。 
 

There is only one answer, how simple the world is; The "right answer" is everywhere. It's a trade-off. It's a risk. When I realized that this is the norm of life, I realized that learning to choose itself is far more important than choosing right.

只有一个答案,世界多么简单;到处都是「正确答案」,意味着取舍,意味着冒险。当我明白这是人生的常态,就意识到,学会选择本身,比单次选对远远重要。 

2, establish your own principles, first have principles, then have the choice.

2、建立自己的原则,先有原则,才有选择。 

If your "life principle" is "challenge yourself", you choose to go for a Singapore expat. If your "life principle" is to "repay kindness", you choose to stay in Shanghai.

如果你的「人生原则」是「挑战自我」,你选择争取新加坡外派。如果你的「人生原则」是「知恩图报」,你选择留在上海。 
 

Each of these principles defines who you are, what you want, and who you want to be. Once you find yourself, understand the world, and establish principles, the choices of the present and the future become easier.

每一条人生原则,定义着你是谁、你要什么、你想成为什么样的人。一旦找到自己、认识世界、确立原则,当下的选择、未来的选择才会变得容易。

3.Every hard choice is an opportunity to test your principles.

3、每一次艰难选择,都是测试自己原则的机会。 

For the most part, principles go hand in hand with principles. Our principles are really put to the test only when we have to make trade-offs. What is higher priority for you and what is harder to compromise? Is it "letting people down" that makes you feel worse, or "letting go of opportunities" that makes you feel worse?

大部分情况下,原则与原则之间,是并行不悖的。只有必须取舍时,我们的原则才真正受到考验。对你而言,到底什么优先级更高,到底什么更加难以妥协?究竟是「辜负别人」更让你耿耿于怀,还是「放弃机会」更让你心有不甘? 
 

Is it better to help everyone become a better version of themselves, or is it better to hold everyone accountable for their actions? In the face of other people's different opinions, is "stick to yourself" to make you comfortable, or "follow the flow of kindness" to make you comfortable?

遇到不太合格的下属,是帮助每个人成为更好的自己,还是让每个人对自己的行为负责?面对别人不同的意见,是「坚持自我」让你坦然,还是「从善如流」让你安心? 
 

These difficult choices are challenges and opportunities. It forces you to interrogate your mind, and in the process we learn more about ourselves.

这些艰难的选择,是一个个挑战,更是一个个机会。它迫使你拷问自己的内心,在纠结反复的过程中,我们才会更了解自己。 
 

4, every choice, may be "wrong"; Every principle can be wrong. It doesn't matter, apply it, test it, fix it.

4、每一次选择,都可能是「错的」;每一条原则,都可能是「错的」。没关系,应用它、测试它、修正它。 

Every choice you make is likely to lead to the best outcome. For example, you choose to go to Singapore, and you get it, and it goes very well. Saying no to your boss is not as hard as you think. He understands that mordor's job doesn't stop working without you.

你的每个选择,都可能出现最好的结果。譬如说,你选择争取去新加坡,如愿以偿,发展得很好;拒绝老板,没有你想象中那么艰难,他表示理解,魔都的工作离了你也没有停止转动。 
 

With every choice you make, the worst is possible. You choose to fight for Singapore, fail to get elected, offend your boss and lose your promotion. Or you choose to stay in Shanghai, only to find that your promotion is just a "blank check" that you don't want to live up to, only to be let down and regret. (if you think your boss won't break his word, you're too young.)

你的每个选择,都可能出现最坏的结果。你选择争取去新加坡,没能获选,得罪了老板,泡汤了升职。或者,你选择留在上海,结果升职仅仅是一张「空头支票」,你不想辜负,却被人辜负,追悔莫及。(如果你认为老板肯定不会食言,那么你还太年轻。) 

There is too much uncertainty. Whether the opportunity in Singapore is suitable, whether the opportunity in Shanghai is reliable, your character and strength, your boss's temper and quality... We can only predict, but not the future.

这其中有太多的不确定性。新加坡的机会是否合适、上海的机会是否靠谱、你的性格与实力、你老板的脾气与素养……我们只能预判,却不能准确预知未来。 

So, when you make any choice, accept that it can be wrong; But remember the principle of choice, and in the years to come, review it, reflect on it, revise it. In hindsight, you may find that "going for too high an opportunity with uncertainty" is a mistake, and that the future is more stable. Maybe you will see that "giving up your dream in order to repay the favor" is a stupid thing, and you will be more determined to pursue yourself in the future.

所以,当你做出任何一个选择,请接受「它可以是错的」;但是,记得做出选择的原则,在后来的岁月中,回顾它、反省它、修正它。事后,可能你会发现「争取不确定性太高的机会」是一个错着,未来更加稳扎稳打。可能你会看到「为了知恩图报而放弃梦想」是一桩蠢事,未来更加坚定追求自我。 
 

Congratulations, that's growth. It is impossible to "pick the right number every time", and it is very possible to increase the probability of choosing the right number by "optimizing the principle".

恭喜你,这就是成长。「次次选对」是不可能的,「优化原则」而增加选对的概率,是非常可能的。 
 

5, other people's opinions can only reference, your answer can only look for yourself.

5、别人的意见只能参考,你的答案只能自己寻找。 
 

"All intelligent thoughts have already been thought. What is necessary is only to try to think it again."

歌德说,「所有的智慧早已被人想过。我们必须做的,只是尝试再想一遍。」 

Just because we download quotes to our phones and put them in our heads doesn't mean we know what to do. You are unique, you are dynamic, you are complex. We can only find our own principles little by little, step by step to find their own answer.

将语录下载到手机上、印刻到脑海里,并不等于我们就知道该怎么做。你是唯一的,你是动态的,你是复杂的。我们只能一点点找到自己的原则,一步步找到自己的答案。 

On my own terms, I would certainly recommend Singapore.

以我个人的原则,当然建议你选择新加坡。 

One, you obviously want to go; Second, from experience, overseas experience is usually beneficial to career development; Third, the reason you stay is simply that you don't know how to fail your boss, so the boss is an a dult and he can be responsible for himself. Fourth, how to speak politely, how to make a good handover, how to repay the boss in the long run, have methods to manage.

第一,显然你很想去;第二,从经验看,海外经历通常对职场发展有利;第三,你留下的理由仅仅是不知道怎么辜负老板,那么老板是成年人,他可以对自己负责。第四,怎么礼貌开口,怎么做好交接,怎么在长期回报老板,都有方法进行管理。 

 

However, with each choice, others can never judge how much you want or value. In you are the protagonist of the stage, the fate of the lights projected on your body.

然而,每一个选择,别人永远无法判断,你有多渴望、你有多看重。在你是主角的舞台上,命运的灯光投射在你身上。 
 

Once you have made your choice, the "audience" can only be consulted. If the worst comes to the worst and someone laughs at you, "look at her overreaching for overseas opportunities" or "look at her ungrateful loss of a promotion", you can take it in stride——

一旦你做出了选择,「观众」的意见也只能参考。如果出现最坏的结果,有人嘲笑你,「看她自不量力要去争取海外机会」,「看她忘恩负义结果失去了到手的晋升机会」,你可以坦然面对—— 

"I've built my principles, I've made my choices, I've gotten life feedback, I've gotten valuable growth.

「我建立了自己的原则,我做出了自己的选择。我获得了生活的反馈,我获得了宝贵的成长。 

Life is long, systematic principles are more important than immediate choices, the ability to reflect is more reliable than life results, and building up one's own knowledge is more effective than following the answers of sages.

一生很长,系统的原则比当下的选择重要,反省的能力比命好的结果可靠,建立自己的认知比听从圣贤的答案有效。 
 

Think back to the original intention of writing, initially out of self-help, because the long-term be swayed by considerations of gain and loss anxiety, it is difficult to bear, hard to move forward. I use words to comb, forcing myself to reflect. One hand is career, the other hand is to raise children, there are many, many times, I think the spare time writing, whether too extravagant, too capricious. However, you keep telling me, "I too, useful, thank you", day after day, one after another.

回想写作的初衷,起初是出于自助,因为长期患得患失的焦虑,让人难以承担、难以向前。我用文字梳理,逼迫自己反省。一手是职场、一手是养孩子,有很多很多很多次,我觉得业余时间的写作,是否太奢侈、太任性了。可是,你们一声声地告诉我,「我也是,有用的,谢谢你」,一天又一天,一篇又一篇。 


 

At McKinsey, I see "thinking ahead and being goal-oriented" as the key to achieving results. Middle-aged career change, I found that "bottom level ability, self-management" is not afraid of the future is possible... These principles and methods can be reused, learned and Shared with you.

在麦肯锡,我看到「前置思考、目标导向」是追求成效的关键;中年转行,我发现「底层能力、自我管理」是无惧未来的可能……这些原则与方法,可以复用、可以学习,也希望分享给你。 
 

Fortunately, every choice, every practice, every reflection brings us closer to the right answer, closer to a better self.

是谁出的题那么难,幸运的是,每一次选择、每一次练习、每一次反省,都带我们接近了正确答案,接近了更好的自己。 
 

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