There is no future standard
未来没有标准
1513字
2019-06-12 17:47
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火星译课图片

When talking about planning for the future, my parents and I have a little tension occasionally. Red-faced debate moment, not a few, and the tense relationship, more on behalf of the two, we can not convince each other's position. Always calm down to find their mind is very simple. I wish you an early home, a secure job and a simple life.

在谈论到关于未来的规划时,我与父母,偶而有置气。面红耳赤的争辩时刻,不在少数,而剑拔弩张的关系,更代表着两种,我们谁也说服不了对方的立场。总是冷静下来发现他们的心思又特别简单。无非是愿你早日安家,稳当工作,简简单单的过完一生。 
 

There's nothing wrong with this arrangement, but it's just plain uncomfortable. Out of that kind of love, it's hard for them to understand the way we describe our lives, and they just keep pushing you to follow their path. As I want to go out, they are always blowing in your ears, telling you that the outside world is going through a storm, and it is no use using an umbrella. But who knows, what I care about is not the rain, but the experience of going out.

这样的安排,并无过错,可就是直白地让人心里不太舒服。出于那份关爱之心,他们自然是很难理解我们口中所描述的那些生活状态,也只好一个劲儿地要你按照他们设想的路去走。如同我想出门,他们却总在你耳旁吹风,告诉你外面的世界正历经暴雨,打伞也无用。可谁又知道,我在意的不是淋雨,而不过是出门的经历。 
 

Similar to these "for your own good" between the words, mixed with eagerness, proportion compulsion. There's a lot to say and a lot to say, and a lot of experience. I could not bear to shut these concerns out, so I accepted them coldly. I tried to convince myself, in fact, this is also good, but always unwilling, unwilling to put the day over the more uncomfortable. The feeling that someone else has arranged my life for me, I just can't get over it.

类似这些「为你好」的言语间,夹杂殷切,占比强迫。有很多好说与歹说,也充满着一大把过来人的经验。我不忍将这些关切拒之门外,所以只好冷漠地照单全收。我试着说服自己,其实这样也挺好,可总是心不甘,情不愿,把日子越过越难受。那种别人替我安排好生活的感觉啊,无论如何,我也没办法喜欢起来。 

I know a guy of my age, C, who lives near my house. We're not that different. He just got married and had kids. When I came home the other day, I heard that he was divorced. As for him, he fell in love for less than half a year before he got married, and the baby was born soon after his marriage. There is no shortage of conflicts arising from the lack of understanding of character, and there are many stumbling blocks caused by the random combination of life. In the end for a "we are not suitable", two people get together good scattered, leaving a lonely child. Such ending, a sigh, and inevitably see some self-immolation of love and life clues.

认识一个同龄人C,他住在我家附近。我俩相差不大,只不过他早早结婚生子。前些天我回家时,却听说他离婚了。关于他这人,恋爱不到半年就结婚,结婚不久孩子就出生了。少不了因性格不了解而产生的矛盾,多得是因生活的随机组合而磕磕绊绊。到最后换来一句「我们不合适」,两人好聚好散,留下一个孤独的孩子。这样的结局,令人唏嘘的同时,又难免看到一些自焚爱情与人生的蛛丝马迹。 

Whether it is in the neighborhood, or the attention of each other's reputation, or the so-called equal family. Their love and marriage, arranged by their parents and matchmakers, may have been foreshadowed by today. I have contacted with C for several times. Actually, he is a nice man, full of ideas and vigor, but he seems a little too obedient to me. Small to choose a major in school, big to get married and have children, his life big and small things, are handled by his parents.

不管是街坊四邻口中,看中彼此的名望也好,还是所谓的门当户对也罢。他们那通过父母之命,媒妁之言,被一手安排出来的爱情与婚姻,或许早就为今日,埋下的伏笔。我与C接触过几次,其实他人不错,有想法有朝气,可给我的感觉,好像有点太听话了。小到择校选专业,大到结婚生子,他人生中大大小小的事,皆由父母一手操办。 

 

Of course, I'm not saying I'm a bad listener. Being obedient is definitely a good quality. But in some ways, being too obedient also seems to kill one's initiative and autonomy in seeing the world. From him, I seem to see the train moving, slowly, the process of walking, from the sweet thought at the beginning, finally into his own can not see very clearly in the mystery.

当然,我不是说听话不好。听话,绝对是一种良好的品质。但从某些方面来看,太听话似乎也会抹杀一个人看待世界的积极性与自主性。从他身上,我仿佛看见的是火车在行进,慢慢地,这个行走的过程,从当初自以为的甜蜜,最后走进他自己也看不太清的迷局里。 
 

Every time I think of C, I sigh. I wondered if he would have done things differently if he had done them. I don't know. However, from this side experience, more firmly is: their own life, ultimately responsible for their own.

每每想到C的事,我便心里叹气。臆想着,或许当初他这样,要是当时他那样,结果会不会变得不一样呢?我不得而知。只是,从这样的身旁经历中,更加坚定的是:自己的人生,最后要负责的,终究还是自己。 
 

It used to be popular to say, "get out of your comfort zone." now it seems like it's popular to ask, "why get out of your comfort zone?" Because you work hard, you make progress, you fight, and you finally make yourself comfortable? At first glance, it all sounds right. However, I found that these two attitudes were empty talk without foundation.

以前大家很喜欢说「跳出舒适圈」,现在大家似乎又很喜欢质疑「为什么要跳出舒适圈?」因为你努力、上进、奋斗,最后不还是为了能让自己舒适吗?乍一听,好像都对。但仔细揣摩背后意思,却发现这两种态度,不过都是缺乏基础的空谈。 
 

Jump out of your comfort zone and focus more on the jump. As if the present life is certainly not good, must constantly toss about, constantly in the eyes of jumping out and jumping into the action between, just fit the "life is movement" the meaning of these words.

跳出舒适圈,更在意的是「跳」这个动作。好像眼下的生活就一定不好,必须不断折腾,不断着眼在跳出与跳进的动作之间,才算是契合了「生命在于运动」这几个字的含义。 
 

Admittedly, it is good to have the determination to change and not be satisfied with the status quo, but it is wrong to deny for the sake of negation, to carry out the concept of endless life and endless movement.

诚然,不甘于现状,能有变革的决心是好,但为了否定而否定,为了贯彻生命不息,运动不止的概念而折腾,是不对的。 
 

Leap, should be a goal, a direction, but also a wise choice and consideration. Instead of thinking high and thinking low, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that, constantly wandering in the struggle between food and clothing. In this way, even if you jump out of your comfort zone 100 times, you will not get one true inner comfort and fulfillment.

跳跃,应当是有目标,有方向,更是有智慧的一种选择与考量。而不是眼高手低,这也不想,那也不愿,不断徘徊在解决温饱线之间的挣扎。如此,就算你跳出舒适圈100次,也无法得到1次真正内心的舒适与充实。 
 

But the "why get out of your comfort zone" debate focuses on results, a result-oriented view. I worry more about people who don't dare to jump out of their comfort zone, but are constantly picking on the bad guys in it. In their eyes, jumping out of the comfort zone is a false proposition, because the purpose of jumping is to make themselves more comfortable. That sounds fine, but it's a gross generalization, a perception that values results over process.

然而「为什么要跳出舒适圈」的质疑,聚焦的则是结果,是以结果为导向的一种看法。比起不断跳出舒适圈的人,我更焦心于那些不敢跳出圈外的同时,又不断挑刺圈内不好的人。在他们看来,跳出舒适圈是一个伪命题,因为跳的目的是为了让自己更舒适。听上去没毛病,但这犹如以偏概全,是重结果,而轻视过程的一种认知。 
 

For many young people with a heart, they choose to step out of their comfort zone, not just to be better and more comfortable one day. In fact, what they care more about and enjoy is the happiness of the process, which is to have a young heart, rather than a comfortable attitude in the best years. So there's no point in simply evaluating jumping out or staying in your comfort zone.

对于很多有心的年轻人来说,他们选择跳出舒适圈,并不仅仅是为了有朝一日能更好,更舒适。他们其实更在意与享受的,是过程的快乐,是拥有一颗年轻的心脏,而不愿在最好的年华,选择安逸的一种态度。所以,单纯的评价跳出或者呆在舒适圈是没有实际意义的。 

The most positive thing is that I know I'm still young, so I don't want to be caught up in life, don't want to settle down early, but want to try my best to see their own possibilities. Even though I am no longer a young man in the secular sense, I still have the courage to experience the outside world regardless of everything, to constantly try, to make up and fill up those moments of possible regret, which is very admirable in itself.

最值得肯定的是,我知道我还年轻,所以不想被生活所绊,不想早早地安定,而想要去一展身手,看看自己的可能性罢了。而就算是我已不再是世俗意义里的年轻人,我还能有不顾一切,披荆斩棘的勇气,去体验外面的世界,去不断尝试,去弥补和填满那些可能存在遗憾的瞬间,而这本身就非常令人佩服了。 
 

When you want to jump out of the circle, please find the right goal and direction, ask yourself, now in life, I am happy or not, I jump out of the meaning of what? Avoid becoming a headless fly. When you want to settle down in your circle, please also put aside the little emotions that come up from time to time. Don't let them become big regrets after you choose a certain life.

想要跳出圈内时,请先找准目标与方向,扪心自问,当下的生活,我快乐与否,我跳出去的意义为何?要避免成为一只瞎转的无头苍蝇。那想要安定在圈内时,也请收起你那些时不时会冒出来的小情绪,不要因为你选择某种生活后,这些情绪,演变成日后你心中的大遗憾。 
 

The road is not easy to walk, is your choice, you have to try to know.

路好不好走,都是你的选择,也都要你亲自去尝试过才知道的。 

In fact, those who are free from the boundary of their comfort zone are the most tangled and should be guided. Remember that time, because they gave up a particularly good opportunity, all day listless, regret often hit. On the one hand, I think it's too far away and a little impractical; On the other hand, the stability of life allows me to constantly smooth the ripples in my heart, telling myself not to think.

其实,游离于舒适圈边界的人,最为纠结,也最该被引导。记得那时,因为自己放弃了某个特别好的机会后,整日无精打采,后悔感时常袭来。一方面,我觉得那太遥远,有点不切实际;另一方面,稳定的生活让我不断抚平心里的涟漪,告诉自己别没事乱想。 
 

As a good friend D in the writing circle, we communicate frequently, from writing to operation, from shooting to travel. For the character, I listen more while she walks more. When she was about to graduate, I asked her what she planned to do in the future. She said she was a little special, others thousands of horses across the single bridge, she all day into zhang ailing's novels, or back camera, the world flew.

而同是写作圈的好朋友D,我们时常交流,从写作到运营,从拍摄到旅行。对于角色,我更多地是坐着倾听,而她更多的是走着讲述。那时临近毕业,我问她未来有何打算,是否考研?她说自己有点特立,别人千军万马过独木桥,她却整天钻进张爱玲的小说,或是背起相机,全世界满天飞。 

From her, I did not see the blind follow the stream, more follow the heart, to feel, to experience, to do those things may not be understood by ordinary people, but deep in their own hearts. She said, those hidden love, like a scar, you can not care about after healing, not careful to run into, still have feelings, still think of the original buried its mood.

从她身上,我不曾看到随波逐流的盲从,更多的是遵从内心,去感知,去体验,去做那些或许不被常人理解,却深得自己内心的事。她说,那些被藏起来的心爱之物,就像一块伤疤,痊愈后你大可不管不顾,可不小心碰到了,还是有感觉,还是会想到当初埋藏它的心情。 
 

Life is like this. We are always in duplicity, secretly thin, clearly have a similar heart, but not to say. Those are too late to say, and then by their own, by life, by extreme years, buried youth, is too much too much.

人生何尝不是如此。我们总在口是心非,暗自菲薄,明明心有戚戚,却缄口不言。那些来不及说出来,便被自己、被生活、被极端岁月,埋葬的青春,实在是太多太多。 

Fortunately, in this process, I gradually understand my likes and dislikes, and I am willing to release all my mentality. No longer the tiny self who hides his courage, but the real young man who is willing to try his life. It's like eating bitter melon. I used to hear the color change, not even a taste. Later, put down fear, gradually feel the original pepper sauteed bitter melon, put a little vinegar, in fact, the taste is good.

还好,我在这个过程中,逐渐明白自己的喜恶爱憎,也愿意全然释放自己的所有心态。不再是那个遮掩勇气的微小的自己,而是愿意去尝试生命的真正的年轻人。好比吃苦瓜。从前我听之色变,连一口也不愿尝。后来,放下畏惧,渐渐觉得原来辣椒炒苦瓜,放一点醋,其实味道也挺好。 
 

Those who dare not, to dare; From resistance to acceptance, we have to walk thousands and thousands of times before we become familiar with this road. Only then can we be qualified to say whether I like this road or not.

那些从不敢,到果敢;从抗拒,到接纳的过程,我们总要走上千遍万遍,才变得轻车熟路,也只有那时,才有资格说我到底喜不喜欢走这条路。 
 

As the title says: there is no future tasting period, open the bag and serve. Only once in life, we should not only walk calmly, but also live free and easy.

如同题目所写:未来没有品尝期限,开袋就可食用。只有一次的人生,我们不仅要走的从容一些,更要活得洒脱一点。 
 

That way, you won't look in the mirror one day, only to find that you have no idea who the person in the mirror is.

那样,才不至于,当某天你照进镜子时,却发现早已不知镜中的那个人是谁,是何模样了。 
 

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