When talking about planning for the future, my parents and I have a little tension occasionally. Red-faced debate moment, not a few, and the tense relationship, more on behalf of the two, we can not convince each other's position. Always calm down to find their mind is very simple. I wish you an early home, a secure job and a simple life.
There's nothing wrong with this arrangement, but it's just plain uncomfortable. Out of that kind of love, it's hard for them to understand the way we describe our lives, and they just keep pushing you to follow their path. As I want to go out, they are always blowing in your ears, telling you that the outside world is going through a storm, and it is no use using an umbrella. But who knows, what I care about is not the rain, but the experience of going out.
Similar to these "for your own good" between the words, mixed with eagerness, proportion compulsion. There's a lot to say and a lot to say, and a lot of experience. I could not bear to shut these concerns out, so I accepted them coldly. I tried to convince myself, in fact, this is also good, but always unwilling, unwilling to put the day over the more uncomfortable. The feeling that someone else has arranged my life for me, I just can't get over it.
I know a guy of my age, C, who lives near my house. We're not that different. He just got married and had kids. When I came home the other day, I heard that he was divorced. As for him, he fell in love for less than half a year before he got married, and the baby was born soon after his marriage. There is no shortage of conflicts arising from the lack of understanding of character, and there are many stumbling blocks caused by the random combination of life. In the end for a "we are not suitable", two people get together good scattered, leaving a lonely child. Such ending, a sigh, and inevitably see some self-immolation of love and life clues.
Whether it is in the neighborhood, or the attention of each other's reputation, or the so-called equal family. Their love and marriage, arranged by their parents and matchmakers, may have been foreshadowed by today. I have contacted with C for several times. Actually, he is a nice man, full of ideas and vigor, but he seems a little too obedient to me. Small to choose a major in school, big to get married and have children, his life big and small things, are handled by his parents.
Of course, I'm not saying I'm a bad listener. Being obedient is definitely a good quality. But in some ways, being too obedient also seems to kill one's initiative and autonomy in seeing the world. From him, I seem to see the train moving, slowly, the process of walking, from the sweet thought at the beginning, finally into his own can not see very clearly in the mystery.
Every time I think of C, I sigh. I wondered if he would have done things differently if he had done them. I don't know. However, from this side experience, more firmly is: their own life, ultimately responsible for their own.
It used to be popular to say, "get out of your comfort zone." now it seems like it's popular to ask, "why get out of your comfort zone?" Because you work hard, you make progress, you fight, and you finally make yourself comfortable? At first glance, it all sounds right. However, I found that these two attitudes were empty talk without foundation.
Jump out of your comfort zone and focus more on the jump. As if the present life is certainly not good, must constantly toss about, constantly in the eyes of jumping out and jumping into the action between, just fit the "life is movement" the meaning of these words.
Admittedly, it is good to have the determination to change and not be satisfied with the status quo, but it is wrong to deny for the sake of negation, to carry out the concept of endless life and endless movement.
Leap, should be a goal, a direction, but also a wise choice and consideration. Instead of thinking high and thinking low, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that, constantly wandering in the struggle between food and clothing. In this way, even if you jump out of your comfort zone 100 times, you will not get one true inner comfort and fulfillment.
But the "why get out of your comfort zone" debate focuses on results, a result-oriented view. I worry more about people who don't dare to jump out of their comfort zone, but are constantly picking on the bad guys in it. In their eyes, jumping out of the comfort zone is a false proposition, because the purpose of jumping is to make themselves more comfortable. That sounds fine, but it's a gross generalization, a perception that values results over process.
For many young people with a heart, they choose to step out of their comfort zone, not just to be better and more comfortable one day. In fact, what they care more about and enjoy is the happiness of the process, which is to have a young heart, rather than a comfortable attitude in the best years. So there's no point in simply evaluating jumping out or staying in your comfort zone.
The most positive thing is that I know I'm still young, so I don't want to be caught up in life, don't want to settle down early, but want to try my best to see their own possibilities. Even though I am no longer a young man in the secular sense, I still have the courage to experience the outside world regardless of everything, to constantly try, to make up and fill up those moments of possible regret, which is very admirable in itself.
When you want to jump out of the circle, please find the right goal and direction, ask yourself, now in life, I am happy or not, I jump out of the meaning of what? Avoid becoming a headless fly. When you want to settle down in your circle, please also put aside the little emotions that come up from time to time. Don't let them become big regrets after you choose a certain life.
The road is not easy to walk, is your choice, you have to try to know.
In fact, those who are free from the boundary of their comfort zone are the most tangled and should be guided. Remember that time, because they gave up a particularly good opportunity, all day listless, regret often hit. On the one hand, I think it's too far away and a little impractical; On the other hand, the stability of life allows me to constantly smooth the ripples in my heart, telling myself not to think.
As a good friend D in the writing circle, we communicate frequently, from writing to operation, from shooting to travel. For the character, I listen more while she walks more. When she was about to graduate, I asked her what she planned to do in the future. She said she was a little special, others thousands of horses across the single bridge, she all day into zhang ailing's novels, or back camera, the world flew.
From her, I did not see the blind follow the stream, more follow the heart, to feel, to experience, to do those things may not be understood by ordinary people, but deep in their own hearts. She said, those hidden love, like a scar, you can not care about after healing, not careful to run into, still have feelings, still think of the original buried its mood.
Life is like this. We are always in duplicity, secretly thin, clearly have a similar heart, but not to say. Those are too late to say, and then by their own, by life, by extreme years, buried youth, is too much too much.
Fortunately, in this process, I gradually understand my likes and dislikes, and I am willing to release all my mentality. No longer the tiny self who hides his courage, but the real young man who is willing to try his life. It's like eating bitter melon. I used to hear the color change, not even a taste. Later, put down fear, gradually feel the original pepper sauteed bitter melon, put a little vinegar, in fact, the taste is good.
Those who dare not, to dare; From resistance to acceptance, we have to walk thousands and thousands of times before we become familiar with this road. Only then can we be qualified to say whether I like this road or not.
As the title says: there is no future tasting period, open the bag and serve. Only once in life, we should not only walk calmly, but also live free and easy.
That way, you won't look in the mirror one day, only to find that you have no idea who the person in the mirror is.