当我的生活面临崩溃时,如何能找到合适的治疗师
How I Found the Right Therapist When My Life Was Collapsing
1564字
2021-02-05 14:07
10阅读
火星译客

In early July I experienced my first panic attack, when I was jolted awake in the middle of the night. Weirdly, my mind wasn't racing, but my heart was. Then they started appearing in the middle of the day, seemingly out of nowhere. The first time, I was pulling a handful of wet towels from the washing machine when I felt the world tunnel away from me. I dropped the towels, sat on the floor, and pressed my back hard against the wall. Suddenly, I was less afraid of catching Covid-19 and more afraid of what this pandemic was doing to my mental health.

在7月初,那是我第一次恐慌发作,我当时在半夜醒来并且感到非常震惊。奇怪的是,我的思绪似乎不存在,但我的心跳还在。然后恐慌开始在一天中反复出现,似乎无处不在。第一次,在我从洗衣机中拉出几条湿毛巾时,我感到世界离我越来越远。我放下毛巾,坐在地板上,用力将背部靠在墙上。突然,我不那么害怕患上Covid-19,而更害怕这种流行病对我的心理健康造成的影响。

In fact, a national survey from October by the American Psychological Association found that "stress from Covid-19—along with stress related to health care, the economy, racism, and the presidential election—is seriously threatening the mental health of our country." Not to mention the grief surrounding the over 400,000 deaths from Covid (at the time of this writing) in the United States, and it's no wonder that mental health experts around the world are predicting a second epidemic, one centered on mental health.

实际上,美国心理学会从十月开始一项全国调查发现,“来自Covid-19的压力,以及与医疗保健,经济,种族主义和总统选举有关的压力,正在严重威胁我们国家所有人的心理健康。 ”更不用说在美国(在撰写本文时)Covid造成的40万多人死亡所带来的悲痛,难怪世界各地的精神卫生专家都在预测以精神卫生为中心的第二种流行病。

So if you do want help, I wondered, where do you begin looking if you don't already have a therapist? My own panic attacks have subsided, but I still dream of maskless people coming too close to me. Happily divorced, I live alone with my sister, and I struggle with not being able to see and hug my four grown children and two grandchildren. I worry about my 82-year-old mother who lives alone. Plus, there's still that deadly virus.

因此我在想,假如有人确实需要帮助,假如他还没有治疗师,该去哪里寻找呢?我自己的恐慌症消退了,但我仍然想着我周围有很多没有任何保障的人。因为离异,我独自一人和姐姐住,但无法和我的四个成年子女和两个孙子拥抱,这让我很痛苦。我担心我独自生活的82岁的母亲。此外,现在仍然存在致命病毒。

Debbie Augenthaler, a psychotherapist in private practice in New York, suggests that a good place to start is with your medical doctor, or to ask friends or family for a recommendation. "The website Psychology Today is a great resource that allows you to search for a therapist by location and area of expertise."

纽约私人诊所的心理治疗师黛比·奥古塔勒(Debbie Augenthaler)建议,可以从自己的医生那里,或者向朋友或家人寻求推荐。 “今日心理网站是一个不错的资源,可以允许通过地理位置和专业领域来寻找治疗师。”

With therapy sessions taking place virtually these days, location might be less important. Stacy Shelby, a depth psychologist in Squamish, British Columbia, says, "I have been on video for six years because I have clients throughout North America, and I have found video to be equally effective as in-person."

由于这些天几乎在进行线上治疗,因此地理位置可能不太重要。不列颠哥伦比亚省的北美印第安的深度心理学家Stacy Shelby说:“我已经录制了六年的视频,因为我在整个北美都有客户,而且我发现录制的视频和实时视频一样有效。”

The first time I sought help with my mental health was before Google, when seemingly overnight I fell into a deep well of depression and anxiety. Every cell and fiber of my being was filled with a sense of impending doom. On the outside, I appeared every bit the role of wife and mother, but inside me felt like an apocalyptic wasteland.

我第一次寻求心理健康方面的帮助之前没有上网搜索,似乎是一夜之间,我陷入了抑郁和焦虑的深渊。我身体中的每一个细胞和纤维都充满了即将来临的厄运感。在外面,我每时每刻都在扮演着妻子和母亲的角色,但在我内心却感觉像是世界末日的荒原。

I thought my body might be trying to tell me something, but after a thorough check-up showed that I was physically healthy, my doctor finally asked me, "Do you want me to recommend someone for you to talk to?"

我认为我的身体可能想告诉我一些事情,但是经过全面检查证明我身体健康,最后,我的医生问我:“需要我推荐一个可以跟你聊天的人吗?”

What I really wanted was a pill that would magically pull me out of the swirling void of blackness, but I was afraid to ask for one. I didn't want to appear weaker than I already felt in front of my doctor. It may sound ridiculous, but depression can warp your thoughts in unhealthy ways. Instead, I took the piece of paper my doctor handed me, on which she'd written the name and number of someone who practiced in a strip of low-lying offices nearby.

我真正想要的是一种药丸,它可以很神奇的将我从黑漆漆的漩涡中抽离出来,但我不敢去要。我不想表现得比医生感觉出的还要虚弱。这听起来可能很荒谬,但是抑郁会以不健康的方式扭曲你的想法。取而代之的是,我拿了医生交给我的那张纸,上面写着在附近一排低层办公室工作的人的名字和电话号码。

After four sessions, I sat across from the counselor and listened as she pronounced the reason for the darkness that surrounded me—I was projecting ahead to my empty nest. At the time, my four children were just 11, 9, and two 6-year-old twin boys. My fledglings were far from flying the coop.

经过四堂课,我坐在咨询员对面,听她讲出我周围黑暗的原因,我正朝着我的空巢前进。当时,我的四个孩子只有11岁,9岁和两个6岁的双胞胎男孩。我的雏鸟离鸡舍还很远。

If I had shared more fully my perseverating thoughts of annihilation, or perhaps if she had asked different questions, I might have felt heard. As it was, I walked out of her office and never went back.

如果我更充分地分享了我毁灭的坚定想法,或者如果她问了其他问题,我可能会感到被倾听。照原样,我走出她的办公室,再也没有回去。

Augenthaler says, "You should feel comfortable and you should feel heard, and if you ever get the feeling 'You don't get me,' that's not the right therapist for you."

Augenthaler说:“您应该感到舒适和被倾听,如果您感到'您不了解我',那他就不是适合您的治疗师。”

Anne Nayor, a licensed clinical social worker in St. Thomas, said it best, "Therapists are not gods, they're just people, and they make mistakes."

圣托马斯(St. Thomas)的持证临床社会工作者安妮·纳约尔(Anne Nayor)说的最好:“治疗师不是神,他们只是人,而且会犯错误。”

I stayed away from therapy for 10 years, until my 24-year marriage was threatened by my husband's betrayal. He promised the affair had ended, but then refused to discuss or acknowledge it, and I couldn't move on without talking about it. The licensed counselor I found through my brother advised me to make my home a more relaxing place for my husband, and when he was more comfortable he'd be more open to talking about the affair.

我治疗完已有10年了,直到我24岁时婚姻遭受到丈夫背叛。他保证这件事已经结束,但随后拒绝讨论或承认,而我无法忘记,不停的提及这件事。我通过我的兄弟找到了持牌辅导员,他建议我把家成为我丈夫感到更轻松的地方,而当他更舒适时,会更愿意谈论这件事。

This advice felt wrong, but I didn't know how to contradict the person with the education and training. Instead, I lit the suggested gaslights and stayed in my marriage while my husband happily carried on his affair.

这个建议是错误的,但是我不知道该如何对受到专业教育和培训的人进行反驳。相反,我接受了建议,并留在了我的婚姻中,而我的丈夫则高兴地继续了婚外情。

Janice Seward, a doctor of clinical psychology said, "Therapy has an inherent power differential, and we're much more likely to give over things like our gut feeling when we are in a relationship where someone has the perception of power. It's important to continue to trust your gut even if someone has a PhD after their name. If you have a feeling that something's not right, probably something isn't."

临床心理学医生Janice Seward表示:“治疗具有隐性的力量差异,当我们在对方拥有感知力量的关系中时,我们更有可能放弃自己本能的感觉。即使某人的名字上有博士学位,也要继续相信自己的直觉。如果您觉得某些事情不对劲,那可能就是不对劲。”

After a year of making my husband comfortable, my marriage finally imploded. This time I found the right analyst, through a referral from a friend.

经过一年让丈夫安逸的生活,我的婚姻终于破裂了。这次,我通过朋友的推荐找到了合适的分析师。

John Gyra, a clinical psychologist, helped me unravel the truth of my marriage and heal. I also discovered why my previous therapists had been so unhelpful—I needed someone with the training and education to recognize the emotional abuse in my marriage. With his help and guidance, I grew the strength I needed to stand firm during my three-year settlement negotiations. He pushed me to feel the anger that I suppressed under my feelings of being victimized and to learn to work with those powerful feelings. He helped me find the words to have conversations with my kids about their father.

临床心理学家约翰·吉拉(John Gyra)帮助我弄清了婚姻和治愈的真相。我还发现了为什么以前的治疗师对我没有帮助–我需要接受过培训和教育的人员来认识我婚姻中的情感虐待。在他的帮助和指导下,我得到了在三年的定居谈判中站稳脚跟所需的力量。他促使我感到自己在被害时被压抑的愤怒,并学会在强烈的感受下完成工作。他帮我找到了一些用词去和我的孩子们谈论他们的父亲。

Finally, I felt seen and heard. Seward agrees with the other professionals I interviewed. "There's been research about what's actually therapeutic and curative, and it's the relationship between the therapist and client."

最后,我感觉被关注和倾听了。苏厄德与我采访过的其他专业人士意见一致。 “已经有关于真正的治疗和治疗方法的研究,这是治疗师和服务对象之间的关系。”

She advises you to reach out for help sooner rather than waiting for a crisis to hit. Know that what you're feeling might be normal, given the stressors of these times, but it might also be outside the bounds of what you can cope with on your own.

她建议你尽快寻求帮助,而不要等待危机来临。考虑到这些时期的压力,要知道你的感觉可能是正常的,但也可能超出你自己能应付的范围。

Seward also says, "Thirty years ago there were three flavors of therapy; now there are five hundred." If you work with someone who is licensed or registered, there will be a licensing board, whose primary purpose is to ensure safety for clients. It also sets a minimum standard that a therapist must meet.

苏厄德还说:“三十年前有三种疗法;现在有五百种。”如果你与获得许可或注册的人员一起工作,将会有一个许可委员会,其主要目的是确保客户的安全。它还设置了治疗师必须达到的最低标准。

There are also many “on-demand” online providers such as BetterHelp, TalkSpace, and if you're in Canada, Online-Therapy.com. There's been a paradigm shift since I last saw Dr. Gyra, almost 15-years ago. It's made getting help much more accessible and affordable.

还有许多“按需”在线供应商,如BetterHelpTalkSpace ,如果你在加拿大,是Online-Therapy.com 。我最后一场见到Gyra博士是在大约15年前,这些年间范式发生了转变。它使帮助变得更加容易获得和负担得起。

Ask your medical doctor, friends, and family for recommendations. If you're employed, contact your HR or employee assistance department. Don't hesitate to talk to several therapists until you find one that you feel comfortable with. Most will offer an initial 10- or 15-minute phone conversation for free. Peruse therapist websites, read their bios, and look at their pictures to see if one resonates with you, or specializes in the issues you think you're experiencing.

向你的医生,朋友和家人寻求建议。如果你被雇用,请联系您的人力资源或员工协助部门。在找到适合自己的治疗师之前,请与其他治疗师交谈。大多数将免费提供最初的10分钟或15分钟的电话交谈。仔细阅读治疗师的网站,阅读他们的履历,并查看他们的照片,看是否有人与您产生共鸣,或是否有人专门研究你认为你遇到的问题。

If you're working within the parameters of your insurance, make sure you know what your provider covers and is willing to pay for. Ensure that you and your practitioner are in agreement about the fee structure and payment. Many insurers have relaxed their restrictions and are waiving co-pays because of the pandemic.

如果你在保险行业工作,请确保你知道你的医疗服务提供者愿意支付的费用。确保你和你的从业人员在费用结构和付款方面达成一致。由于流行病,许多保险公司放宽了限制,并废弃了自付额。

Ask what a treatment plan would look like, and how and when the two of you would evaluate its efficacy. Can they work with you on a bi-weekly basis as opposed to weekly, if you need that financial flexibility? Ask what their fees are, and how and when are they paid. You can expect to pay anywhere from $50 to $300, and many therapists use sliding scales.

询问治疗计划是什么样的,以及你们两个人如何以及何时评估其疗效。如果您需要财务上的灵活性,他们可以每两周一次而不是每周一次与您合作吗?询问他们的费用是多少,以及如何以及何时付款。您可以期望从$ 50到$ 300之间支付费用,并且许多治疗师的收费标准都是可变动的。

Finally, know that it takes courage to ask for help and that you have it within you. We all do. One of the first things Augenthaler tells her clients is, "I want you to know that this takes a lot of courage, and I appreciate the fact that you're here."

最后,要知道寻求帮助需要勇气,而且你有勇气。大家都这样做。奥古斯塔勒告诉她的客户的第一件事是:“我想让你知道这需要很大的勇气,并且我很高兴你在这里。”

Seward ends with, "Look at your favorite stories. There's always a sidekick, there's always a helper, there's always an ally—go find your ally." Whether that is a clinical social worker, a psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, individual, couples, or group therapy. Find the flavor that works for you.

苏厄德的结尾是:“看看你喜欢的故事。总会有一个伙伴,总会有一个帮手,总会有一个盟友-找到你的盟友。”无论是临床社会工作者,心理治疗师,心理学家,精神病医生,个人,夫妇还是团体治疗。一定要找到对你起作用的人。

You don't have to silently suffer alone. Your mental health is intrinsically tied to your physical health. This past year has brought so many, layered losses to so many. Don't be afraid of asking for help; it's out there waiting for you.

你不必独自一个人默默受苦。心理健康与身体健康有着内在的联系。过去的一年给许多人带来了如此多的不同层次的损失。不要害怕寻求帮助;帮助一直都在。

0 条评论
评论不能为空