送礼的五大技巧
5 rules for successful gift giving
991字
2019-12-28 23:48
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火星译客

Good gift giving is an art. The perfect present can lift a mood or improve a relationship. It can repair a wrongdoing, or simply remind a loved one that you care.

送礼物是一种艺术。一份好的礼物能帮助提升人际关系,能弥补过失,能让你在意的人知道你的关心。

Psychologists have long been fascinated by the subject of gifting, because it's a window into so many other important human traits: how we see others, how we assign value to things, our decision-making skills and our ability empathize.

送礼这一行为是心理学家长期关注的一个话题。这一行为折射出了太多人类的重要特征:我们对他人的看法、我们如何衡量物品的价值、我们的决策技能和能力

"Humans are an incredibly social species and one of the things that sets us apart is forming and maintaining relationships with others. Gift giving around holidays, birthdays, graduations or weddings is a great opportunity to reinforce those relationships," said Daniel Farrelly, a psychologist at the University of Worcester.

“人类是群居动物,特点之一就是我们建立及处理人际关系的能力。在节日、生日、毕业时或婚礼上送礼物就是维持人际关系的一个重要机会。”伍斯特大学心理学家丹尼尔法雷利说道。

Gifting has also become a high stakes business. This year in the US, for example, consumers estimate they will spent $942 on Christmas gifts, up from $885 in 2018. In total, gift expenditure is expected to surpass $1 trillion. Getting it wrong can come at an increasingly high price.

送礼同时也成为了一件高风险的事情。以今年美国情况为例,消费者预估他们今年将在圣诞礼物上花费942美元,对比2018年的885美元。消费者今年在礼物上的

Whatever the occasion, gift giving is a social ritual that requires careful thought and consideration. So are there a set of rules to follow? We spoke to some experts to help us craft a simple guide to gifting. Read on for 5 essential tips.

送礼任何时候都是一项值得我们认真思考的社会礼仪。那么送礼有没有什么准则需要遵守呢?我们咨询了几位专家并总结出了一些小技巧,参看以下五条:

1) Don't add a small gift to a big gift

1)不要贵重礼物外加一个小礼物

Thomas Hedger

托马斯海德格

Tempted to add a tie to an expensive shirt? Some flowers to go with a bottle of grand cru champagne? Don't. When we receive gifts in a bundle, we tend to unconsciously average out their value, so a small gift tacked onto a big one will hurt the latter's impact.

是不是送件贵重的衬衫会想要再加上一个领带,或者送瓶香槟会忍不住再附上一束花?快别这么干。当我们受到一大堆礼物的时候,我们会不自觉地低看礼物的价值。所以贵重礼物附上小礼物会影响前者效果。

This is called the "Presenter's Paradox," first exposed in a 2012 study of the same name, where participants were offered either an iPod by itself, or an iPod with a free download for one song. When asked how much they would pay for it, those offered the iPod with the cheap download valued it 20% less than those without. Conversely, participants asked to choose which option they would gift, overwhelmingly went with the one that included the download, demonstrating that when it comes to gift giving we fail to grasp that (sometimes) less is more.

这一现象叫做“送礼者悖论”,于2012年在一个同名研究中提出。在这一研究中,研究人员将参与者分为两组,第一组收到ipod,第二组收到一个iPod外加免费下载一首歌。当他们被问到对礼品的估价,第二组的估价比第一组低百分之二十。相反,当问他们更愿意以哪种方式送礼,大多数都选择了第二种。这说明当送礼时我们往往难以把握住少即是多的原则。

"Imagine giving someone an expensive bottle of wine, with some plastic cups to drink it out of -- that immediately devalues the gift. That's because humans tend not to think economically and rationally about these sort of things," said Farrelly.

“想想一下,送别人一瓶高档红酒,却用塑料杯倒出来喝,这立刻就拉低了礼物的档次。这是由于人们在这一方面不那么精明和理智。”

2) Gift experiences rather than things

2)经历胜过礼品

Thomas Hedger

托马斯海德格

A brand new iPhone becomes old fast. But a dream vacation or seeing your favorite artist in concert will give you memories that last forever. "Experiences often have more thought gone into them, and they create more vivid memories. We might remember the tablet that a friend or a loved one has bought us, but not as much as a two-week holiday to Florida -- the memories and the emotional attachment are greater than to a physical object," explained Farrelly.

新款iPhone很快就会被淘汰,但去看一次喜欢的音乐家的音乐会可以让你记一辈子。“经历总能带来很多感触,,还能创造更多鲜活的记忆。我们会记得朋友或爱人送的平板电脑,但这记忆远不如一起去佛罗里达度假两周深刻,后者带来的的记忆和情感远胜于物质“,法雷利解释到。

That, in a nutshell, is why should you consider an experience over a physical object. It's an idea supported by psychologist Thomas Gilovich, whose research shows that money spent on doing provides more enduring happiness than money spent on having.

这就是为什么说经历胜于物品。这一理念由心理学家托马斯季洛维奇提出。他在研究中发现把钱花在在一些体验经历上比起买东西更让人愉悦。

Experiences also create anticipation, making the days or weeks leading to the event more pleasurable.

经历同时还带来期待,使得该日期前几天或前几周更愉快。

3) Gift cards are not bad

3)卡片是不错的选择

Thomas Hedger

托马斯海德格

Gift giving can be wasteful. "We only spend $10 on ourselves if we find something that we expect is worth more than $10 to us," said Joel Waldfogel, an economist and the author of a study called "The Deadweight loss of Christmas."

送礼有时候会很烧钱。“当我们认为某样物品值十块钱是我们只会花十块钱买给自己用,”经济学家沃德维格说道,他正在进行一项名为“圣诞节负担”的研究

"But gift giving is different, because we're not buying for ourselves," he explained. "So we can spend $10 on something that's worth less than $10 to the recipient. It could be worth nothing to them."

"但送礼不一样,因为礼物不是买给我们自己的,“他解释道,”所以我们会花十块钱买不值十块钱的东西送给别人,但实际上这个东西可能对他们没什么用。“

One thing that has the same value for everybody is cash. While gifting cash is popular on some occasions in some cultures, it's not for everyone and can be interpreted as lazy or even offensive.

唯一对所有人来说价值相同的就是钱了。但尽管在有些文化里确实有送钱的习惯,但并不是所有的文化都是这样,只会显得你不走心或者冒犯他人。

What's the next best thing? "Gift cards have become much more popular over time. And they're also very popular with recipients," said Waldfogel.

除了钱呢?”卡片越来越流行,接受者也越来越乐于接受,“沃德维格说道。

Gift cards aren't perfect -- there's still some perceived loss of value and billions of dollars worth of them go unredeemed each year -- but they're a better option than a rushed or poorly chosen gift.

卡片也不是十全十美,因为卡片还是避免不了价值的流失,但相比那些匆忙挑选的礼物还是不错的选择。

4) Think like the receiver

4)换位思考

Thomas Hedger

托马斯海德格

Let's put it very simply: buy things that your receiver would buy for themselves. That might seem obvious, but it happens far less than we'd like. People tend to use gifts as jokes, encouragements to change one's ways, or to signal something about themselves rather than providing utility (or happiness) to the receiver.

简单来说就是给你要送礼的人买他们可能会给自己买的东西。这一点看起来显而易见,但实际生活中能做到这一点的并不多。人们送礼物更多是为了表达鼓励、暗示等,而很少考虑实用性。

The best way to get it right is to simple ask the upfront question, "what would you like?"

最好的解决方式就是直接问“你想要什么?”

According to Waldfogel, "There are now conversations among family members to agree to give gifts that everyone wants, as opposed to [shopping] blindly."

沃德维格认为:“现在家庭中开始有关于送什么礼物的讨论,而不再盲目地送礼物。”

5) Spend more on others than on yourself

5)多为他人考虑

Thomas Hedger

托马斯海德格

The last rule is a no-brainer: remember the gift of giving. A study finds that spending money on others promotes happiness. The good feelings you may experience from giving someone a gift they love may also last longer than spending money on ourselves

最后一条无需多言:记得给予他人。一项研究表明在别人身上花钱会让自己快乐。送别人一个礼物的愉悦感会比给自己买东西持续更长久。

So while it's important to look after oneself, remember there are benefits to being more generous to those around you.

所以要注意关心别人

But if all else fails, remember there's a reason why we say that it's the thought that counts. "Don't forget why you are giving gifts...Most people don't want lots of money spent (on) them -- they just want you to think about them, and that can be done in lots of easy ways," said Farrelly.

但总而言之,我们说关心才是最重要的是有理由的。“别忘了你是为什么送礼物。大多数人并不想你为他们花钱,而只是希望你能想到他们,而这一点很多方法可以达到,”法雷利说道。

Top image: Mickey Rooney hands a gift to Ann Rutherford in a scene from "Andy Hardy's Private Secretary," 1941.

图片:《私心秘书》(1941)中米基·鲁尼给安·卢瑟福送了一个礼物

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