As we all know, it's hard to bring up a child, and the most difficult time is the rebellious period.
There is an old saying in my hometown: "Three, six and nine, even dogs desert." That is to say, even dogs hate children aged 3, 6 and 9 because they are so rebellious and annoying.
However, there is also another saying in family education: When children are the least lovable, they need love the most.
The first rebellious period
2 — 3 岁
2-3 years old
☞ Traits of rebellion
● Self-awareness sensitive period: They love to say no, never give their own belongings to others, and they must work on something by themselves.
● Order sensitive period: They are inexplicably stubborn, and difficult to accommodate
Spatial order: Objects must be put in fixed position;
Chronological order: Their clothes must be dressed in a certain order;
Psychological order: If being interrupted when watching a cartoon, they have to replay it.
☞ Reasons of rebellion
● Germination of self-awareness：By saying "no" and "opposing" the adu lt, children feel the power of "ego" and show that they are "grown up" and "capable".
● Thinking limitations：Children are not flexible, because their brains are not really developed to be flexible, with an irreversible one-way thinking；
● Language limitations：Children's "rebellion" is not all unreasonable. Sometimes they want A but can not speak, and we misunderstand that they want B, which can make them anxious, only to express anger with crying...
● "Play with you": Children find that if they are "rebellious", they are able to manipulate their parents' emotions, so that parents become very excited and more concerned about them.
1、Understanding and respect：It makes sense for children to cling to a certain order, which is helpful to the development of their logical thinking, sense of security and concentration.
As long as it is not principled or dangerous behavior, parents shall not encourage or resist, but try to comply. Along with the ending of sensitive period, your child will naturally change.
2、Allow abreaction gently and firmly: To read these four words with Dan: moody first, then reasoning.
Allow your child to cry out his anxiety and anger, and let us be quiet. (This is very important: emotions are contagious, and your child will be more anxious than you); After your child's emotion gets stable, use empathy to help him express his feelings; Finally, it's time to reason with your child after he is completely calmed down.
3、Parents shall not always say no：It is to avoid the imitation from their children. For example, instead of saying not to paint on the wall, let us say "we use white boards to paint".
4、Shift their attentions
5、Give them choices：For example, instead of always asking "do you need...or not", let us ask "do you want this or that".
6、Utilize games to achieve our goals：For example, countdown, competitions, and telling your child that "toys miss their mothers and they want go home" while tidying up toys, let your child feel that's not an order but a game.
7、Expand your child's expression: Play a question-and-answer brainwashing game with your child:
Patents: If we asked a lamb, would you like to have some grasses? What does the lamb say?
—— Child: Yes!
Patents: If we asked a cat, would you like to have some fishes? What does the cat say?
—— Child: Yes!
Patents: Now I'm asking my baby, would you like to have a meal? What would my baby say?
—— Child: Yes!