Three rebellious periods in children's life: Part Ⅰ
孩子人生的3次叛逆期,你一定得这样管!(第一叛逆期)
978字
2019-08-29 12:03
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火星译客

带过孩子都知道娃难养,然而最难的时候那肯定就要属叛逆期的时候了。

As we all know, it's hard to bring up a child, and the most difficult time is the rebellious period.

我们老家有句俗话:“三、六、九,嫌死狗”,就是说连狗都嫌弃3岁6岁9岁的孩子,因为他们实在是太叛逆,太讨厌。

There is an old saying in my hometown: "Three, six and nine, even dogs desert." That is to say, even dogs hate children aged 3, 6 and 9 because they are so rebellious and annoying.

但在家庭教育中还有一句话叫:孩子最不可爱的时候,其实最需要爱。

However, there is also another saying in family education: When children are the least lovable, they need love the most.

第一叛逆期

The first rebellious period

2 — 3 岁

2-3 years old

叛逆特点

Traits of rebellion

● 自我意识敏感期:爱说“不”,自己的东西绝不给别人,有些事一定要自己来。

● Self-awareness sensitive period: They love to say no, never give their own belongings to others, and they must work on something by themselves.

● 秩序敏感期:莫名固执,难以变通

● Order sensitive period: They are inexplicably stubborn, and difficult to accommodate

空间秩序:东西一定要固定位置;

Spatial order:  Objects must be put in fixed position;

时间顺序:穿衣服一定要按照某种顺序;

Chronological order: Their clothes must be dressed in a certain order;

心理秩序:看动画中间被打断就要重放。

Psychological order: If being interrupted when watching a cartoon, they have to replay it.

叛逆原因

Reasons of rebellion

● 自我意识萌发:孩子通过说“不”,和大人“逆”着来,感受“自我”的力量,显示自己“长大了”还“很能干”。

● Germination of self-awareness:By saying "no" and "opposing" the adu lt, children feel the power of "ego" and show that they are "grown up" and "capable".

● 思维局限:孩子不会变通,是因为他们的大脑真的没有发展到可以变通的程度,思维处于不可逆的单向状态;

● Thinking limitations:Children are not flexible, because their brains are not really developed to be flexible, with an irreversible one-way thinking;

● 语言局限:孩子的“叛逆”并非都是无理取闹,只是他想要东,他又说不出来,我们还误会他要的是西,这可就把孩子急坏了,只会用哭闹表达愤怒……

● Language limitations:Children's "rebellion" is not all unreasonable. Sometimes they want A but can not speak, and we misunderstand that they want B, which can make them anxious, only to express anger with crying...

● “逗你玩”:孩子会发现自己“叛逆”,就能操控父母的情绪,让父母变得很激动,并且变得多关注自己。

● "Play with you": Children find that if they are "rebellious", they are able to manipulate their parents' emotions, so that parents become very excited and more concerned about them.

解决对策

Resolutions

1、理解与尊重:孩子执着于某种秩序,其实是有意义的,有利于发展孩子的逻辑思维、安全感、专注力。

1、Understanding and respect:It makes sense for children to cling to a certain order, which is helpful to the development of their logical thinking, sense of security and concentration.

只要不是原则性、危险性行为,不鼓励也不对抗,尽量顺从,敏感期过去,孩子自然会改变。

As long as it is not principled or dangerous behavior, parents shall not encourage or resist, but try to comply. Along with the ending of sensitive period, your child will naturally change.

2、允许发泄,温柔而坚定:来,跟丹妈读六个字,先情绪,后道理。

2、Allow abreaction gently and firmly: To read these four words with Dan: moody first, then reasoning.

先允许孩子把焦虑、恼怒哭出来,我们静静着就好了(这点很重要,情绪会传染,我们急孩子会更急);待孩子情绪下来点之后,运用同理帮助孩子说出感受;最后孩子完全平静之后,再和孩子讲道理。

Allow your child to cry out his anxiety and anger, and let us be quiet. (This is very important: emotions are contagious, and your child will be more anxious than you); After your child's emotion gets stable, use empathy to help him express his feelings; Finally, it's time to reason with your child after he is completely calmed down.

3、家长自己不要老说不:避免孩子模仿。比如不要画墙,不如说“我们用白板画”。

3、Parents shall not always say no:It is to avoid the imitation from their children. For example, instead of saying not to paint on the wall, let us say "we use white boards to paint".

4、转移注意力

4、Shift their attentions

5、多给选择:比如,不要总问“要不要”,要问“你要这个还是那个”。

5、Give them choices:For example, instead of always asking "do you need...or not", let us ask "do you want this or that".

6、比如倒数、比赛,比如收拾玩具时告诉孩子“玩具想妈妈它要回家啦”,让孩子感觉这不是命令而是游戏。

6、Utilize games to achieve our goals:For example, countdown, competitions, and telling your child that "toys miss their mothers and they want go home" while tidying up toys, let your child feel that's not an order but a game.

7、扩展孩子表达方式:和孩子玩一个问答的洗脑游戏:

7、Expand your child's expression: Play a question-and-answer brainwashing game with your child:

你:如果我们问小羊,你要不要吃草?小羊怎么答?——孩子:要!

Patents: If we asked a lamb, would you like to have some grasses? What does the lamb say?

—— Child: Yes!

你:如果我们问小猫,你要不要吃鱼?小猫怎么答?——孩子:要!

Patents: If we asked a cat, would you like to have some fishes? What does the cat say?

—— Child: Yes!

你:那我现在问宝宝要不要吃饭,宝宝怎么答?——孩子:要

Patents: Now I'm asking my baby, would you like to have a meal? What would my baby say?

—— Child: Yes!

以此打破孩子说“不”的惯性。

In this way, we break children's habit of saying "no".

行业 教育
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