When romance needs a helping hand, technology leads the way
当浪漫需要帮助时,科技引领潮流
1670字
2019-08-13 06:12
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The country's own Valentine's Day will see new technology help people search for true love, Jiang Yijing reports.

姜一静报道,中国的情人节将见证新技术帮助人们寻找真爱。

The forecast is for clear days ahead but tonight could see a quickening of the pulse and send hearts aflutter. Romance is in the air as China's own Valentine's Day-Qixi Festival, the seventh day of the seventh lunar month on the lunar calendar-falls today. And for many, the stars will shine brighter tonight.

天气预报将持续晴朗的几天,但今晚可以看到脉搏加快,心跳加速。浪漫的空气中弥漫着中国自己的情人节七夕节的气息,今天是农历七月七日。对许多人来说,今晚的星星会更亮。

An Na and her husband will celebrate their second month of marriage by "cooking a big dinner".

安娜和她的丈夫将通过“做一顿丰盛的晚餐”来庆祝他们结婚的第二个月。

When An, an internet company worker in Shanghai, received a love letter from her groom at their wedding ceremony on June 7, the 29-year-old's eyes welled up. After dating for two years she was finally marrying her true love.

6月7日,上海一家互联网公司的工作人员安在新郎的结婚典礼上收到了新郎的一封情书,29岁的安眼睛一亮。约会两年后,她终于嫁给了真爱。

Sometimes romance needs a helping hand and in an age when technology plays such a vital part in all our lives, it should be no surprise that it can help with affairs of the heart.

有时浪漫需要帮助,在一个科技在我们生活中扮演如此重要角色的时代,它能帮助我们处理内心的事务也就不足为奇了。

Her matchmaker was a WeChat account called Moshang Huakai.

她的媒人是一个叫摩尚华凯的微信账户。

She discovered the platform in 2016 when one of her friends placed a post on the matchmaking account. The post was a detailed self-introduction of around 1,600 words, which included basic information on her education, family background, hobbies and friends' comments, as well as her expectations of her future boyfriend. Photos were also included in the post.

她在2016年发现了这个平台,当时她的一个朋友在婚介账户上贴了一个帖子。这篇文章详细地自我介绍了大约1600个单词,其中包括关于她的教育背景、家庭背景、爱好和朋友的评论的基本信息,以及她对未来男朋友的期望。照片也包括在帖子里。

A questionnaire appeared at the end of the post. Anyone who wanted to contact her friend would have to fill it out before her friend decided whether or not to respond.

一份调查问卷出现在帖子的末尾。任何想联系她的朋友的人都必须在她朋友决定是否回应之前填写。

The post made a deep impression on An, especially when she realized that it was viewed by more than 3,000 people.

这篇文章给安留下了深刻的印象,尤其是当她意识到有3000多人观看了这篇文章时。

"It seemed that all the people with matchmaking posts on the platform were well-educated and as a woman with a postgraduate diploma, I wanted any future husband to have a diploma equivalent to mine," An recalls.

安回忆说:“似乎所有在平台上有媒人职位的人都受过良好的教育,作为一名拥有研究生文凭的女性,我希望未来的任何一个丈夫都能拥有与我同等的文凭。”

She was not shy and was "willing to tell people I am single and looking for a relationship". "It was great to have a platform that could help me make my circumstances known to more people," says An.

她并不害羞,而且“愿意告诉别人我是单身,并且在寻找一段感情”。有一个平台可以帮助我让更多人了解我的处境,这真是太好了,”安说。

An wrote a self-introduction and posted it on the platform in March 2017. The post garnered about 4,000 views with 30 responses and inquiries.

安写了一篇自我介绍,并于2017年3月在平台上发布。这篇文章获得了大约4000个浏览量和30个回复和查询。

"Most of the men who responded "were in the category she was looking for, An recalls.

安回忆说,“大多数回应的男人”都属于她所寻找的类别。

"I wrote in the post that I enjoy travel and have visited more than 20 countries during my postgraduate years. People who asked for my contact number generally shared my interests."

“我在帖子中写道,我喜欢旅行,在研究生期间访问了20多个国家。要求我联系电话的人通常都和我有共同的兴趣。”

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The detailed information An posted on the platform did help her filter out some respondents.

在平台上发布的详细信息确实帮助她过滤掉了一些调查对象。

And then, the magic of romance took over. "I met my boyfriend four months later. He was my future Mr Right."

然后,浪漫的魔力就开始了。”四个月后我遇到了我的男朋友。他是我的未来的理想的伴侣。”

Over the past two years, she and her husband-to-be traveled to a number of cities, including Taipei, Hong Kong and Macao.

在过去的两年里,她和她的丈夫去了一些城市,包括台北,香港和澳门。

On every trip they got to know each other better and they soon decided to tie the knot.

每次旅行,他们都会更加了解对方,很快就决定结婚。

The Moshang Huakai platform has more than 150,000 followers, according to its female founders, Ma Yueliang and Long Lele, both 27.Each post generates feedback from around 30 people on average.

据莫尚华凯平台的女创始人马月良和龙乐乐(均为27岁)称,该平台拥有超过15万名粉丝。每个帖子平均能从30人左右中获得反馈。

They set up the platform after college when they realized that a lot of people they met, both men and women, were looking for life partners.

在她们大学毕业后,当他们意识到他们遇到的很多人,无论男女,都在寻找生活伴侣时,她们建立了这个平台。

"We asked people to introduce themselves and detail their backgrounds and expectations as clearly as possible. Similar backgrounds mean people will have things in common and will help filter out the ones you are not that into," says Long, who works in hotel management. She knows that the platform she helped create is effective, after all, because she met her husband through it.

“我们要求人们介绍自己,并尽可能清楚地详述他们的背景和期望。类似的背景意味着人们会有共同点,并且会帮助过滤掉那些你不熟悉的人,”在酒店管理工作的龙说。她知道她帮助创建的平台是有效的,毕竟,因为她是通过这个平台认识她的丈夫的。

Co-founder Ma, who works in investment, is still single and is a firm believer in "the law of attraction".

共同创始人马月良目前仍单身,他坚信“吸引力法则”。

"Before building this platform, I used to think sending posts about seeking love was embarrassing, especially for people who tend to be shy," says Ma. "But now I regard it as a brave and necessary step for starting a good marriage.

马说:“在搭建这个平台之前,我曾经认为发关于寻求爱情的帖子是很尴尬的,尤其是对于那些容易害羞的人。”但现在我认为这是开始一段美好婚姻的一个勇敢和必要的步骤。

"Pursuing a relationship by taking action is better than just waiting around.

“通过采取行动来追求一段关系,总比只是等待要好。

"We built this platform to encourage young adults to bravely tell people that they are seeking romance."

“我们建立这个平台是为了鼓励年轻人勇敢地告诉人们他们在寻求浪漫。”

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Helpful sources

有用的资源

According to a report by the National Bureau of Statistics and Ministry of Civil Affairs, the marriage rate in China has been in decline for five consecutive years. In 2013, about 9.9 people got married for every 1,000 people, while last year the rate fell to about 7.2 people.

根据国家统计局和民政部的一份报告,中国的结婚率连续五年下降。2013年,每1000人中约有9.9人结婚,而去年这一比例降至7.2人左右。

The key age group for marriage is also changing. In a report released by the Ministry of Civil Affairs, people aged between 20 to 24 accounted for the highest marriage registrations before 2012, but in 2017 that group had changed to people between 25 and 29. This group made up 36.9 percent of all registered couples. It is clear that younger people are deciding to wait that bit longer before taking the plunge.

婚姻的关键年龄组也在变化。在民政部发布的一份报告中,在2012年之前,20岁至24岁的人的婚姻登记率最高,但在2017年,这一群体已改为25岁至29岁的人。这一群体占所有登记夫妇的36.9%。很明显,年轻人决定在冒险之前多等一段时间。

In a 2018 survey released by Zhenai, a popular matchmaking website, almost 60 percent of those classified as single had not dated for three years. It also found that 70 percent of single people who live in cities feel anxious about how to get into a relationship, while only 40 percent who live in smaller townships have the same concerns.

在一个很受欢迎的婚介网站真爱发布的2018年调查中,近60%的单身女性已经三年没有约会了。调查还发现,70%住在城市的单身人士对如何建立关系感到焦虑,而只有40%住在小城镇的单身人士有同样的担忧。

These are changing times. Most young people say they don't like arranged marriages or parental interference in their love lives. A survey released by the China Youth Daily in June shows that more than 61 percent of young people oppose arranged marriages and wanted their parents to stay out of their search for a partner.

这是变化的时代。大多数年轻人说他们不喜欢包办婚姻或父母干涉他们的爱情生活。《中国青年报》6月发布的一项调查显示,61%以上的年轻人反对包办婚姻,希望父母不要干涉他们找伴侣。

Many online matchmaking services have emerged in recent years. The three biggest service providers are Jiayuan, founded in 2003, which claims to have 190 million users; Zhenai, founded in 2005 with 170 million users; and Baihe founded in 2005 with 100 million users. All three websites also have their own apps. Users who are free to register on these websites may need to pay a fee while interacting with other users.

近年来,许多网上婚介服务应运而生。三大服务提供商是2003年成立的嘉源,声称拥有1.9亿用户;2005年成立的真爱,拥有1.7亿用户;2005年成立的百合,拥有1亿用户。这三个网站都有自己的应用程序。在这些网站上免费注册的用户可能需要在与其他用户交互时支付费用。

"The website provides me with a great range of choices," says Huang Ying, 32, who works for a State-owned electricity company in Guangzhou, Guangdong province. She has spent 388 yuan ($55) on Zhenai for a year to contact people via its app.

32岁的黄英在广东省广州市的一家国有电力公司工作,她说:“这个网站为我提供了很多选择。”她花了388元(55美元)在真爱上一年时间,通过它的应用程序与人们联系。

"Most users have verified their identity on the app and have a brief statement about themselves as well as what kind of person they are looking for," Huang says.

黄说:“大多数用户已经在应用程序上验证了自己的身份,并对自己以及他们所寻找的人做了简短的陈述。”

Huang did date a man she met on Zhenai for about six months but she broke up with him.

黄确实和她在真爱遇见的一个男人约会了六个月,但她和他分手了。

"I believe family and educational background are vital considerations when choosing a life partner," says Huang, who adds that there is no shortcut, as the only way to find the right person is to go out and socialize and not be afraid of rejection.

“我相信家庭和教育背景是选择生活伴侣的重要考虑因素,”黄说,她补充说,这没有捷径,因为找到合适的人的唯一途径是出去社交,而不是害怕被拒绝。

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Reaching out

伸出手

Wang Ziyu, 27, who works as a product manager at a startup company in Beijing, is going to attend an eight-minute blind date. This, as the name implies, is a speed dating event that is common in Western countries. Within the allotted timespan, he will talk with one female participant. He has taken part in these events three times in the past two months but still feels a bit unsure about the best way to break the ice with a stranger.

27岁的王子宇是北京一家初创公司的产品经理,他将参加一个8分钟的相亲会。顾名思义,这是西方国家常见的速配活动。在规定的时间间隔内,他将与一位女性参与者交谈。在过去的两个月里,他参加过三次这样的活动,但他仍然对与陌生人打破僵局的最佳方式感到有点不确定。

He says discussing work might seem self-centered, and personal information could be boring. As for hobbies, what if you know nothing about the other person's preferences?

他说讨论工作似乎是以自我为中心的,个人信息可能很无聊。至于爱好,如果你对别人的喜好一无所知呢?

"The participants talk to seven or eight people over an hour or so," he says. "Sometimes I would meet a girl with whom I am willing to share a lot, while sometimes a cold silence would descend."

他说:“参加者在一个小时左右的时间里与七、八个人交谈。”有时我会遇到一个愿意与我分享很多东西的女孩,而有时冷冷的沉默会降临。”

The activities he attended were organized by the matchmaking platform Maisui Danshen Gongshe ("ear of wheat singles' community").

他参加的活动是由麦穗丹参公社(麦穗单身社区)举办的。

It claims to have 40,000 clients in Beijing and three brick-and-mortar meeting places around the capital.

它声称在北京有40000个客户,在首都周围有三个实体会议场所。

Every night from 6:30 pm, each place will feature different blind date activities for about 20 people. Besides the eight-minute blind date, other activities include asking people to share a secret, do some daring tasks or play a board game, which is also a popular way for people to meet and interact.

每天晚上6:30开始,每个地方都会有20人参加不同的相亲活动。除了8分钟的相亲以外,其他活动还包括要求人们分享秘密、做一些大胆的任务或玩棋盘游戏,这也是人们见面和互动的一种流行方式。

Wang paid the platform 3,900 yuan, which allows him to participate in all these activities as many times as he likes until he gets married. Additionally, during his leisure time, he can also hang out at any of these cafe-styled places, where people can freely communicate and socialize.

王付了平台3900元,这让他可以参加所有这些活动,只要他喜欢的次数,直到他结婚。此外,在他的闲暇时间,他也可以在这些咖啡馆风格的地方,在那里人们可以自由交流和社交。

The other choices are 3,000 yuan for a year's service, 2,000 yuan for half a year and 1,500 yuan for three months, according to Wang, but he chose the most expensive option.

王说,其他选择是一年服务3000元,半年服务2000元,三个月服务1500元,但他选择了最昂贵的选择。

"I came here searching for my lifelong partner but I realize that finding Ms Right is a process that requires patience. So, I chose the option without a time limit and visit the meeting places as often as I can," explains Wang.

“我来到这里寻找我的终身伴侣,但我意识到找到合适的女士是一个需要耐心的过程。因此,我选择了不受时间限制的方案,并尽可能频繁地访问会议地点,”王解释说。

He may have little chance of meeting many women in life or work, Wang confesses, but he'd like to talk to more women rather than idle away the weekends at home.

王承认,在生活或工作中,他可能很少有机会遇到很多女人,但他想和更多的女人交谈,而不是在家里闲逛周末。

He has spent almost every weekend over the past two months at the Maisui Danshen Gongshe venues and also had his information published on its website. However, offline activities, such as talking face-to-face or attending events with other people, are his priority.

在过去的两个月里,他几乎每个周末都会去麦穗丹参公社,并在其网站上公布他的信息。然而,线下活动,如面对面交谈或与其他人一起参加活动,是他的首要任务。

"I made nine new female friends on WeChat in two months. Maybe none of them is the one I am looking for, but at least I broadened my circle of friends," says Wang.

“两个月后,我在微信上交了九个新的女性朋友。也许他们都不是我要找的人,但至少我扩大了我的朋友圈,”王说。

"A friend of mine in Beijing met her husband during her annual leave in Paris two years ago. Her future husband was a student in London. You never know where or when the right person will appear for you," he says.

两年前,我在北京的一位朋友在巴黎的年假中遇到了她的丈夫。她未来的丈夫是伦敦的一名学生。你永远不知道合适的人会在哪里或什么时候出现在你面前,”他说。

"Maybe your other half is nearby, just around the corner, or far away on the road in front of you. All in all, I believe that going out to socialize and actively looking for my Ms Right is the best approach."

“也许你的另一半就在附近,就在拐角处,或者就在你前面的路上。总之,我认为出去社交和积极寻找我的理想的伴侣是最好的方法。”

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