How do people with high EQ communicate with others?
高情商的人,是怎样与人沟通的?
1014字
2019-07-01 13:27
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How do emotionally intelligent people communicate? In fact, there is not much difference in speaking ability between people with high eq and those with low eq. A lot of people with low eq have strong debating ability. So the difference is before you speak, not when you speak. Emotionally intelligent people are simply more likely to consider several dimensions before speaking than people with less emotional intelligence.

高情商的人,是怎样与人沟通的?其实情商高的人与情商低的人在说话能力上,并没有多少差别。很多情商低的人,辩论能力也很强!所以两者之间的差别,是在说话前,而不是在说话时。情商高的人,其实仅仅是比情商低的人在说话前多考虑了几个纬度。 
 

How the other party feels. 2. Whether the words are timely, appropriate and appropriate to the scene. 3. Identities of both parties. 4. Was the speaker serious or joking? 5. The real purpose of the conversation. And so on.

如:1.对方的感受。2.话语是否适时宜、合场景。3.双方的身份。4.对方说这话是认真的还是开玩笑的?5.对话的真正目的。等等。 
 

Examples:

举例说明: 

1.

1

We all know that huang bo speaks with high eq. A reporter asked: which is more beautiful, gao yuanyuan or Lin zhiling? Huang bo said: usually hear their two names will have a sense of vertigo, now you suddenly said two people, is a severe vertigo.

我们都知道黄渤说话情商很高,一次记者问:高圆圆和林志玲到底哪个更美?黄渤说:平时听到她们两个人的名字都会有眩晕感,你现在一下子说了两个人,就是重度眩晕。 

The reason why huang bo replied in this way is that he considered the feelings of the other party. But the real logic is: because huang bo first in his mind to consider the feelings of the other party, then will say that. And a person who does not know how to first consider the feelings of the other party, began to talk, may be very direct, he thinks gao yuanyuan beauty, said gao yuanyuan beauty, he thinks Lin zhiling beauty, said Lin zhiling beauty.

这句话黄渤之所以会这么回答,就是考虑了对方的感受。但真正的逻辑却是:由于黄渤先在脑海里考虑了对方的感受,然后才会说出那样的话。而一个不懂得先考虑对方感受,就开始说话的人,可能就会很直接,他觉得高圆圆美,就说高圆圆美,他觉得林志玲美,就说林志玲美。 

But this is unconsciously perceived as being less friendly to the other person, so it's seen by others as low eq. But in fact, if he thought more about that one point and let "considering the feelings of the other party" come into his mind, he could say something like huang bo's answer.

但这无意中显然就对另一个人显得不那么友好,所以这在别人看来,就是情商低。但实际上如果他多考虑那么一条,让“顾及对方感受”参与到脑海抉择,也是能说出像黄渤那样的回答的。 

2.

2

People have the right to speak, as long as your words are not slander, seriously injured others, you like to say what can be said, you can talk, also can say, no one interfered with you. But if you're at a big dinner party, you could theoretically say anything, but obviously people like to hear the sound of blessings.

人都有说话的权利,只要你的话不是造谣诽谤,重伤他人,你喜欢说什么都可以说,你可以谈天,也可以说地,没人干涉你。但假如在一个别人大喜的宴会上,在这样的场合,理论上你也可以什么都说,但显然这样的场合,大家更喜欢听到祝福的声音。 

But if you don't think about this when you're talking, and you don't have the concept of "it depends on the occasion" in mind, you might start talking about a friend who just got divorced the other day. You have no other intention, is to tell, but in the eyes of others, you are low eq.

可如果你在说话时少考虑了这一条,脑海没有“说话要看场合”这一概念,那你可能就会口无遮拦,想起前两天有个朋友刚离婚,你兴致一起,就开始说这事。你本无别意,就是想倾述,但在别人眼里,你就是情商低。 

However, if you have the concept of "speaking depends on the occasion" in your mind, then you may choose to talk about happiness instead of such topics. In this way, you will be regarded as emotionally intelligent by others.

但如果你脑海里有了“说话要看场合”这一概念参与思考,那你可能就不会选择那样的话题,而是选择说幸福美满的话,那这样,在别人眼里你也是情商高。 

3.

3

As I said above, anyone has the right to speak, and in theory, anyone can say the same. But in a society where everyone is tagged with a variety of identities (e.g., son, father, friend, brother, classmate, employee, supervisor, manager, boss). Obviously, everyone should consider his own status before speaking.

上面已经讲,任何人都有说话的权利,理论上,同样的话,任何人都可以说。但在每个人都被贴满各种身份标签的社会里,(如:儿子、父亲、朋友、兄弟、同学、员工、主管、经理、老板。)显然每个人在说话前,都要考虑到自己的身份的。 
 

For example, when you talk to your father as a "son", it is obviously respectful and polite. But if you don't have the concept of "who you talk to" in mind, you may talk to your father casually, even by first name.

比如当你作为“儿子”这一标签,在跟父亲谈话的时候,显然是要尊敬礼貌的。但如果你脑海没有“说话要看身份”这一概念,那你跟你父亲说话可能就会很随意,甚至直呼其名。 

It wasn't intentional, and you didn't even realize it. But in the eyes of others, you are low in eq, or more. But if you have the concept of "speaking by identity" in mind as a reference, then you may not choose that tone, that address. You choose words that are in line with your identity, so that you are emotionally intelligent in the eyes of others.

这虽不是你故意,你也根本没意识到。但这在别人看来,你就是情商低,甚至还不止情商低。但如果你脑海里有了“说话要看身份”这一概念作参考,那你可能就不会选择那样的语气、那样的称呼。你会选择符合自己身份的话,那这样,你在别人眼里也是情商高。 

4.

4

The same sentence, although the literal meaning is the same, but people will lie and joke, so every time someone says something, we have to tell the truth, the other side is really serious or joking.

同样一句话,虽然字面意思是一样的,但人会说谎、会打趣,所以别人每说一件事,我们都是要分真假的,分对方到底是认真还是在开玩笑的。 

For example, you have a good cook, do the dishes are very delicious, friends eat praise you, said: wow, you do this dish really delicious, one day to learn from you? If you don't have the concept of "true or false" in your mind, no matter whether someone is serious or just joking, get serious immediately. "if you want to learn, do it now. What are you waiting for? "

比如,你有一手好厨艺,做的菜很好吃,朋友吃着夸你,说:哇,你做的这道菜真好吃耶,哪天跟你学学吗?这时假如你的脑海没有“真假话”这一概念,不分人家到底是认真还是说笑的,立刻严肃起来:“想学就趁现在啊,还等什么,走,我立马教你怎么做……” 

Then very carefully and carefully tell friends what to pay attention to this dish what what, how to cook. You may be well-intentioned, but in the eyes of others, you have low eq. But if you have "are people serious or are they kidding? This concept is a reference choice, and you probably wouldn't have done that. Instead, make a joke about it, and if you do, you'll be seen as emotionally intelligent.

然后非常认真仔细的告诉朋友这道菜要注意些什么什么,火候要怎样怎样。你虽是好心,但在旁人看来,却是情商低。但如果你的脑海里有“别人到底是认真的还是开玩笑的?”这一概念做参考抉择,那你可能就不会做出那样的行动。而是跟着开玩笑,说打趣的话,那这样你在别人眼中也是情商高。 
 

5.

5

Speaking, according to different background, different tone, there is a hidden meaning. It may say A on the surface, but in fact it may mean B.

说话,根据不同背景、不同语气,是有言外之意的。表面上说的是A,实际上想表达的却可能是B。 

Let's say your girlfriend asks you, "who looks better, me or her?" You said she looked better. At this time your girl friend light say: that you chase her. At this time you don't understand, good why go after her? Don't I have you? Isn't this unreasonable? Don't you love me?

比如你女朋友问你:我跟她谁更好看?你说她更好看。这时你女朋友淡淡的说:那你去追她吧。这时你就不解了,好端端的为什么要去追她?我不是有你吗?这不无理取闹嘛?难道你不爱我了?

Continuous questioning or temper, two people may start to quarrel. It may seem to others that you have low eq, but you don't understand what's going on. But suppose you have in mind "what is the real purpose of the other person saying this?" This one makes reference to choose, that you probably won't choose to say so of words, hair so of ask.

连续的追问或发脾气,可能两人就开始吵。可这在别人看来,却是你情商低,你却还不明白是怎么回事。但假如你的脑海里有“对方说这话的真正目的是什么?”这一条做参考选择,那你可能就不会选择说那样的话,发那样的问。 

But the first time my girlfriend asked who looked better, I thought, what does she mean by that? Do you mean to test me? Want me to show her my love? Then you might choose to say, "why bother? Of course you look better. Don't you realize it?" If you say so, you are emotionally intelligent in the eyes of others.

而是在女朋友第一次问谁更好看的时候,就想到,她问这话什么意思?难道是故意想考我?想让我表达对她的爱意?然后你可能就会选择说:这还用问嘛,当然是你更好看啊,难道你自己没发觉吗?这样,你这么说,你在别人眼中也是情商高! 

And so on.

等等。 

Therefore, the difference between high eq and low eq is only that the former considers more latitude. If a person with low emotional intelligence wants to be more emotionally intelligent when speaking, simply input some parameters before speaking.

以上种种,所以说情商高和情商低的区别,仅仅是前者考虑的纬度多一点。一个低情商的人想在说话上变高情商,只要说话前多输入一些参数,就可以的。

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